Why did you decide to hyphenate, rather than just take your Hs last name? Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. After reading an online article about the pros and cons of keeping a maiden or married name, my husband now tells me to use either one, but he does not agree with hyphenating. When a person’s name is hyphenated, the machine simply cannot cope. 50 k, This error message is only visible to WordPress admins. My last name IS a strong part of my identity. I think when the day comes, I’ll end up taking his name too for just the reason you stated so well, “I choose to be a full member of his tribe.” Cheers to you and your new family! Hyphenated Last Name Pros and Cons. 1. After nearly a decade, I still couldn’t decide who I was! Flag; 35 Comments . Print; 39; More; This is an … Hyphenated names: the pros … Here are 10 pros in favor of changing your name after marriage: 1. Cons. Argh - this post has actually made me considerably more confused! So, from now on, I’ll go by Mrs. his nice WASPy sounding name, which can be traced back more than 1,000 years, has a coat of arms, and a lineage that shares a common ancestor with Kings Henry IV, V, and VI. And now I am getting attached to a new man whom I deeply love. So his name would then be Trey Evan Walker-Hess. I knew a guy who had a hyphenated last name and each part was 3-4 syllables. Get Our Wedding Planner App On Your Mobile Device. But it becomes confusing. Women today can opt for hyphenating last name after marriage and other easy-to-implement name change processes. When she was born, I did not sign the birth certificate, so she only has his last name. Because of my job I could not just change my middle name without a court order. You are a fantastic writer and it really is addictive reading! He was born in Paraguay (his mom is from the States) so he is Brian Middle Name Dad's Last Name-Mom's Last Name. Hyphenating last name after marriage: How to decide what’s right for you. I WANT to take his last name. I moved my maiden name to my middle name. Pros & Cons? It's a second marriage for both of us and I'm filling out our Marriage Licence paperwork. He mentioned the middle name thing to me, and I think that might be what I go with. My decision affects only my name - DH didn't hyphenate his name, and when we have children eventually they will have his last name. It feels weird to change your last name, but a month later you won't even think about it. Hyphenated Names: Top Con’s. You’re Legally Bound To Use Both. I’ve said before that this time I chose to be married because I know I’m fine on my own. I smiled when I read you did that too. Well, this time I’m taking his name because I am fine on my own, and because I choose to be a full member of his tribe. By Kristi Gustafson Barlette on April 2, 2010 at 11:45 AM. I’m all in. Just curious. People get confused, and sometimes use her whole hyphenated last name, and others sometimes just use her last name. I still have my identity...Although my maiden name was not common, and my new last name is common. 1; … He honestly didn't care either way, but I wanted to legally have his last name. I felt the same way. 1. We have since agreed to get a divorce while she is young (she's 14 months, and has only ever known living in two different households). I did not hyphenate but still have 2 names. So my name is smashed together on the ticket. When you have two last names, it's forever confusing if the first last name is part of the real last name or just a middle name.I 100% agree with this. Required fields are marked *. Motherhood had introduced all kinds of other unexpected things into my life (extended breastfeeding and doing elaborate song-and-dance routines to get my kids to eat vegetables), so I felt more comfortable doing something a bit … The only other option I would consider is "FirstName MiddleName LastName HisLastName". What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests. i dropped my middle name and made my middle name my maiden name (if that makes sense). Is her last name Smith Doe? Cons. If you become a parent and one partner has a hyphenated … Sometimes you just need to create your own path, you know? Pros and Cons of hyphenating a last name. Cons: Whichever partner's last name is not used will have that name fall even further out of the public sphere. I did the same thing that gg and money did; First Middle Maidden MarriedLastName. "A lot of places would automatically file my records under the last name of whichever parent I was with at the time. I still didn’t want to give them just one of our last names, but the unconventional idea of making up a new name suddenly didn’t seem so weird. And I didn't want to lose my middle name because it's a family name that means a lot to me. Sacre Coeur? I actually don't really like my middle name. Hyphenating can be great if you use your current last name for professional reasons. Or leave it as is. Thanks for sticking with us for a full year. I really regret my choice. I actually almost got dropped from all my classes in college one semester because my tuition funds weren't applied correctly because of discrepancies with her last name. Yours is way cooler. But I'm ending it be, No tree? I think it's a hassle. Are you a doctor, … Marriage brings in a lot of major changes in life and it … There's no one solution for any of this. accomplishments which you have gained before your marriage. To help you out with this decision, we've listed 10 pros and cons of changing your last name. Your friends, colleagues, and clients won’t lose track of you after your name change. this was hard in my field of work as i have to sign alot of paperwork day in and day out. On our joint account, I am FirstName MaidenName DH'sLastName, but on my own bank account I am all 4. Pros of a Name Change. Again, my only concern with hyphenating is whether or not the names … Keeps your professional identity. On my license, I put my maiden name initial, but all 4 names are on my SS card. I'd be more likely to think they had 2 middle names (like my FI - his second middle name is his mother's maiden name). Oddly, the only person who really had a problem with it was my mother's mother, who refuses to this day to refer to my mom by anything but my dad's last name. For example, there's Jane Smith Doe. You still keep your name. Indicates both spouses’ names and thus both family origins. Good morning! FWIW, I'd just stick with your own last name as is, but I guess you didn't really ask about that option :-). Like ggmae, I have four names (2 middle names). My boyfriend doesn't want to for obvious emotional reasons and has only been able to respond to her requests with the reasoning 'I am not comfortable with changing their last names… I didn't want to get rid of my maiden name well, because it was [i]my name[/i], and had been for my entire life - it felt so wrong to change it. Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email. plus, people are always confused as to which last name … I hyphenated and don't regret my decision at all. Really four, including my original middle name. My wedding is coming up next month-yay! But we've only been married for 2 months, and I haven't changed my name with a lot of places yet, so there may be issues down the road. My H has no opinion or problem with it either way...just wanted to get some opinions.I wanted to ask the ladies who have hyphenated their names post-marriage for any insight they can provide in to the pros and cons of doing so. I can't decide between hyphenating, Denise Mylast-Hislast or making my maiden name my middle name. Thank you so much, Kat! New posts will not be retrieved. I'm fine going by DH's last name socially - we received monogrammed towels that we got for the wedding that I love that have his last name's initial, and I have no problem signing our Christmas cards as "The Jones family" or responding to wedding invitations as "Mr. and Mrs. Jones". I haven't done it but the link below has some cons to doing this: I personally don't like hyphenating. I thought I my solution was the best option for me to get what I wanted without the court order.If I had to do it again, I would have picked one name. The choice of having hyphenated names gives them a fair chance to keep their maiden names as well as to please their husbands and in-laws. She has no brothers and didn't want to get rid of it. Keeping your own last name might just be a simpler practical solution, even just for the ease of knowing that your name can stay yours and you won’t have to navigate the weird in-between period where half of your business cards have one name and … Determine if one spouse or both are going to forward with your last name change. "I Did It": Parents-to-be Stephanie and … It will look terrible hyphenated, so I came to the conclusion many year ago that I'll just have to keep it. But if you're Jane Smith-Doe, there should be no question that the last name is Smith-Doe. Research your state’s marriage laws to see what types of surname changes are acceptable with a marriage certificate. And, if you're having kids, would their names be hyphenated also? Most women choose to change their last names after marriage because they are compromising for the sake of their husbands and new families. I would never assume a person had 2 last names. Posted 11/27/2010. Best wishes to you and your man… it’s such a beautiful experience to meet the one you’re meant to be with! Unfortunately, it's also 9 letters with a capital letter in the middle. Once upon a time, I had the chance to move to the happiest country in the world! This option is growing ever-popular, and it might be the least complicated. There are plenty of advantages of a legal name change. Thanks to all for replying. It was her birth name and she adored it. With my divorce, I chose a new last name. I’ve just discovered your blog and read, in quick succession, all about your love story and wedding. America Airlines does not do 2 names. Keep your surname. The pros of creating a new last name include the fact that the parents have creativity and choice in the selection. Hyphenated names: the pros Most women choose to change their last names after marriage … Hyphenating last name after marriage: the pros and cons The legal formalities regarding the change of name after marriage have certainly changed over the years. It's unusual and I really, really like it. Pros of hyphenating. I didn't hyphenate though - I bumped my maiden name to my 2nd middle name (I also attached to my given middle name, so dropping that altogether wasn't an option.) What did you do? This ill conceived hypenated name was a constant nine year long hassle during which I encountered dozens of databases that either didn’t support special characters like hyphens, or that didn’t allow enough characters to accommodate both names, forcing me to choose one or live with an oddly truncated version of my joined names. 2020 has been... interesting. Contact a Paternity Lawyer in St. Louis, Kansas City, Columbia, Springfield, Wichita, Tulsa and Beyond Today . Your friends, clients, and colleagues … My maiden name kept getting left off of important documents - our BMV wouldn't let me put all my names on my driver's license, etc. Taking his last name may be a bit old fashioned, but what are the alternatives? My last name is a strong part of who I am, and although I have two brothers to carry on the namesake, it still doesn't change the fact that I would like to keep it. Can you drop your middle name and keep your maiden? Hyphens will confuse people and just aren't worth the trouble. (Need opinions.) The cons of a newly created last name include the fact that lineage is not represented in this name. GL! I'd be more likely to think they had 2 middle names (like my FI - his second middle name is his mother's maiden name). Looking back, it seems like I had one foot in and one foot out from day one. Finally we talked to his parents about it and they're cool with him legally dropping his Mom's last name. it worked out because the problem with hyphenating is that since it is your legal last name, you HAVE to sign it hyphenated. I told my mom about this and she's not crazy about hyphenating last names so I was wondering also what the pros and cons are of hyphenating names. When I sign things, I just sign it FirstName DH'sLastName and I asked to be referred to as Mrs. DH'sLastName. I have no real feeling that my last name is part of who I am, but I just like it (strange, I know). Hyphenating my name was a namby pamby way to go. This gave me nearly three months to decide what to do about my name. An Australian former couple, who has been warring over their son’s last name for the past two years, has taken the question of surnaming to a whole new level. Hyphenation helps you stay connected to your children whose names might not be hyphenated and who have been given your husband’s surname. It allows you to retain your identity while still legally adopting your partner's moniker. haha. I love it. But I did want to share a name with DH, and I wanted something to signify that we were married and that we were a family, which is why I didn't just keep my maiden name. (As a writer, I run into this frequently; the people I interview are also grateful that I actively ask them which they prefer, but it's clear they have problems all the time.) Her father and I separated while I was pregnant, but tried to make it work for awhile for her sake. I have 2 brothers who will carry on the name, but the name has been mine for so long and I just couldn't part with it. If you have one that you find embarrassing or that brings the wrong kind of attention, changing it may relieve you of a lot of embarrassment or hassle. February 8th 2017 . There was no way I was totally getting rid of my last name, but I'd heard from other women who were hyphenated that it was a PITA. To help you determine if it’s truly the right choice for you, here’s a list of pros and cons of hyphenating your name after marriage. I have two last names. My FI and I were just discussing this last night. Any other viewpoints/opinions are greatly appreciated!Thank you!! I originally wanted two last names but the State of CA does not allow that unless they are hyphenated. it gets exhausting after a while. )The only "trouble" most people come across who don't flat out take H's last name is with potential children, if you are planning on having them. Looking back, it seems like I had one foot in and one foot out from day one. Hyphenating my name was a namby pamby way to go. Here are some pros of hyphenating last names: The biggest perk is that you get to keep your own identity, which you are finding difficult to abandon completely. Or keep both middle and maiden and add last? When I go to the self service machine I can't use me passport or credit card to pull up my information because the last name is 2 names and it does not match up to anything.Some places will pick one of the 2 names instead of both. But legally and professionally, my name is First Middle Maiden-Married. I’m a long-time reader and I am enjoying the new blog design. My restless Aries spirit liked that idea, so I did what any girl in my position would do… I grabbed my cat, booked a one-way ticket to Denmark, and became an expat! Hyphenated names: the pros Most women choose to change their last names after marriage because they are compromising for the sake of their husbands and new families. hyphenated last name pros and cons. Hyphenated names: the pros. Pros: You don’t have to go through the name change process and it won’t affect you professionally. That’s one of the best compliments anyone could give me :), Your email address will not be published. The only issue I've had is with my HR department, they just don't get it. Egalitarian/non-patriarchal/non-sexist (see previous two) and. So my maiden name will become my middle name. Its going to make life a lot easier. In this lull between Christmas and the New Year, Robert and I finally had time to go down to city hall to register our Gibraltar marriage. If you are going through a paternity case in Missouri, Illinois, Kansas, or … I did not want to get rid of my maiden name yet I wanted to take DH's name. Pros. Cons: It may be difficult to easily prove that you are married if you want to travel together, if you eventually have children, or if one of you is admitted to the hospital.Chang… The only thing I have changed thus far is my license, on which I hyphenated. What are the pros and cons of hyphenated names? Does that sound alright to you? It asked me my intended name after the wedding (state of Hawaii? My brother and I took our dad's last name. Many courts are encouraging hyphenated last name to increase settlement in cases. Yikes. I go by First Maiden Married. 1. Advantages: Modern. Occasional confusion: Some people ignore hyphens and have no … If you both know that you are keeping your own last names, there is no reason to stress over what you should do. The biggest advantage of hyphenated last names is the absence of having to choose between two last names. I do not currently have a middle name. Either it jams the two names together, losing the end of the last last name if it runs out of spaces, or it drops the first last name entirely (assuming it’s a middle name), or it simply gives up and says there is no such person in the precinct. And since my maiden name and married name are all first names, it looks like I have three first names. If you decide to go with a merged last name or create a new one, it’s very important to thoroughly consider all the pros and cons of your last name change. I would never assume a person had 2 last names. brnd - If I had just taken DH's last name and kept my middle name on its own, I would have been GMC. (When I told one of my BMs that I was getting married, her first question was, "What are you doing with your last name?!" We constantly get weird mail, trouble at airports and other businesses, and it was difficult for us to figure out what last name I was going to take when we got married. Cons: Hyphenated last names can also lead to administrative hassles. Originally Answered: What are the disadvantages and advantages of having a hyphenated last name? Your email address will not be published. It just seems to complicate things. Below are three drawbacks of taking both last names as a newlywed. My mom didn't change her name her name when she married my dad. At the doctors I have to listen for either my maiden, hislast name or both.Overall it's just been annoying correcting people. I just added DH's last name as a second last name and kept the rest of my name the same. Not sure which one, because I have gotten use to being called by only his lastname. Some don't like that the kids just get H's last name when they're both their children, etc. When they had kids they had her last name as their middle name and then their fathers last name. Again, my only concern with hyphenating is whether or not the names sound okay together and won't be too much of a mouthful. It was such a pain in the butt that I decided to hyphenate my last name with DH's, and it's a decision I'm very happy with. If your state doesn’t … Then there was the hassle of having to explain, spell, and respell the names over and over, and trying to arrange doctors appointments with offices that each had their own way of dealing with hyphenated files. Error: API requests are being delayed for this account. The legal formalities regarding the change of name after marriage have certainly changed over the years. Whether you’re signing a check or introducing yourself at a cocktail party, choosing a hyphenated last name legally binds you to … All through elementary school, my teachers thought my parents were divorced though, because of the different last names.Personally, I'm not down with hyphenating. It's a very personal decision, you just have to go with what you feel is best. Hyphenating your last name allows you to maintain your identity while also accepting your spouse’s. I actually tried to do the four names thing, but unfortunately, our society is not set up for people to have four names. When we have kids, they will have DH'sLastName/my new last name.So, it's not as confusing as it sounds - I just couldn't choose which name to drop and just kept them both. One of the best parts is that the sky is the limit. If you want to go by both names, I personally think hyphenating is much LESS confusing that having two last names with no hyphen. They can be lengthy: Make sure you consider how long your name will be when joined together via a hyphen. Unfortunately, she just kind of goes with the flow and doesn't keep it consistent. When you have two last names, it's forever confusing if the first last name is part of the real last name or just a middle name.I 100% agree with this. Dana. But overall I'm happy with the decision. Women today can opt for hyphenating last name after marriage and other easy-to-implement name change processes. With a hyphenated last name, you maintain your identity while also accepting your added identity as your spouse’s wife. Towards the end of my marriage, I relented and used a single last name… sometimes mine, sometimes his. Filed Under: a doomed love story, wedding, Dear Sage, A new last name can represent a new beginning for a family which can be powerful. I was too immature to keep my own name but thought I was too independent to take his. I don’t expect him to give up his own name for a name I picked randomly because of how it sounds, I’m not willing to repeat the hyphenation debacle, and choosing a new last name together is a bit too new age for me. I'm more attached to my maiden name than my middle name. Between monogrammed travel bags, driver’s licenses, passports, or business cards, you can find your name in a lot of places. Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window), Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window), Click to email this to a friend (Opens in new window). You can choose a name you want, short of something obscene or one that would violate … Post was not sent - check your email addresses! Tags: hyphenated names hyphenated marriage. If you’re an unmarried parent, we have an article that may help: Children of Unmarried Parents. My Fi and I have kind of the opposite problem. Without going into the details of who has treated eachother in which way I just want some honest insight into the pros and cons of hyphenating a childs name in the context of it happening after a divorce. I'm going to keep using my given last name socially and professionally, but I don't care if people call me Mrs. Hislast. not Not really a big deal. I'm very anti-hyphenating, though. I knew another girl who has a hyphenated last name and each part was 2 syllables. As the daughter of a woman with a hyphenated last name, I would say don't do it. When you have two last names, it's forever confusing if the first last name is part of the real last name or just a middle name. However, there are some drawbacks to hyphenating. It didn't matter to me to take my husbands last name. With my first marriage at 25, I’d hyphenated my last name without considering the hyphenated last name pros and cons that came to plague me in my day to day life. I'm becoming Brooke Maiden Hislast and dropping my current middle name to keep it simple. Or is Smith a middle name and Doe is the last name? The choice of having hyphenated names gives them a fair chance to keep their maiden names as well as to please their husbands and in-laws. This ill conceived hypenated name was a constant nine year long hassle during which I encountered dozens of … Log in as an administrator and view the Instagram Feed settings page for more details. (I kept my name … Again, someone who hyphenates with shorter names might have a different experience from mine, but every time someone asks me to spell my last name over the phone, I … So now, I am FirstName MiddleName MaidenName DH'sLastName. Some people want the family to all have the same last name. I think it's cool. It keeps you connected with your achievements both in the academic and professional grounds. I guess I just have to think about it!Thanks again! All the ladies I know who did it are very high-maintenance. It was really easy with the DMV, SS, Banks, etc. It had no significance other than that it was easy to pronounce, easy to spell, and it sounded great with Sage Autumn. No problem.#peacockchair #cornersofmy, A dreamy Christmas stroll with my guy ⛄#Chr, My Love brought me 4 dozen of my favorite roses, s, A sign of the times #christmas #covidchristma, New-to-me thrifted oil painting! I was able to take his name without sacrificing my own: I am Alicia MiddleName MyLastName de HisLastName. You still keep your name! Have you run into any trouble? View original. Hyphenating last name after marriage: the pros and cons . My new initials will be BMW. The downside of this is that it literally states that I belong to him, but that's just language semantics, Oh, and our children will be named: Name MiddleName HisLastName MyLast Name, Expat, do you guys plan to live in Mexico always? I was too immature to keep my own name but thought I was too independent to take his. I knew a couple where the wife kept her last name. 29*****Ellie. Advantages of not changing your name after marriage. I also want to be a bit traditional and take on his last name. I … Pros and cons of changing your name when married. I loved the flow of my name, and would’ve liked to have kept it, in fact, I thought about dumping Autumn and making it my middle name, but who gives up a middle name like Autumn? My husband and I are trying to decide whether or not to hyphenate or son's last name. If you want to go by both names, I personally think hyphenating is much LESS confusing that having two last names with no hyphen. It's been a PITA.Example: flying. I've known people who have hyphenated their kids' names, given them H's last name (which I'll probably do), alternated the kids' last names between mom and dad, and created a new last name all together. She thinks it's nice, too! I haven't run into any problems with this yet, other than convincing people that I have two separate last names, not one hyphenated name. Just do what you like. So, if I change my mind (before going to the SS office) can I change my license again? Hyphenating makes it clear that my last name is Smith-Jones, not Smith and not Jones so I haven't had any issues with anyone confusing which name is actually my last name. I mostly go by Alicia de HisLastName down here. I did the same thing as you: chose a new last name after my divorce that was significant only to me. By only his lastname '': Parents-to-be Stephanie and … pros and cons hyphenated! I relented and used a single last name… sometimes mine, sometimes his own: I personally do n't it! Ending it be, no tree so I came to the conclusion many year that. Was easy to spell, and colleagues … pros and cons of names... Of places would automatically file my records under the last name no reason to stress over what you do. The pros … my wedding is coming up next month-yay to stress over what you should do do. It are very high-maintenance have creativity and choice in the world is that the last name just need create. Best compliments anyone could give me: ), your blog can not posts... 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